From luis@dolch.com Sat May 17 10:40:41 1997 Date: Mon, 7 Apr 1997 14:14:56 -0700 From: Luis Melo To: Pam Coble , anjin@fire.hutch.org, kilika@fire.hutch.org, icarus@fire.hutch.org Subject: Fwd: FW: Seminars... ______________________________ Forward Header __________________________________ Subject: Fwd: FW: Seminars... ****** SEMINARS FOR MALES (prepared and presented by females) ****** 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut 4. How to Fill an Ice Tray 5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money 6. Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am 7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled "Don't Wash my Silks") 8.Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception 9. Get a Life: Learn to Cook 10. How Not to Act Like an Asshole When You're Obviously Wrong 11. Spelling: Even You Can Get it Right 12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence 13. You: The Weaker Sex 14. Reasons to Give Flowers 15. How to Stay Awake After Sex 16. Why it is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere but the Bathroom 17. Garbage: Getting it to the Curb 18. You Can Fall Asleep Without IT if You Really Try 19. The Morning Dilemma if IT's awake: Take a Shower 20. I'll Wear it if I Damn Well Please 21. How to Put the Toilet Lid Down (formerly titled "No, It's Not a Bidet") 22. "The Weekend" and "Sports" are Not Synonyms 23. Give Me a Break: Why We Know Your Excuses are Bullshit 24. How to Go Shopping with Your Mate and Not Get Lost 25. The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency 26. Romanticism: Ideas Other Than Sex 27. Helpful Postural Hints for Couch Potatoes 28. Mother-in-Laws: They are People Too 29. Male Bonding: Leaving Your Friends at Home 30. You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver 31. Seeing the True You (formerly titled "No, You Don't Look Like Brad Pitt When Naked" unless you are Tegan Eve) 32. Changing Your Underwear: It Really Works 33. The Attainable Goal: Omitting TITS From Your Vocabulary 34. Fluffing the Blankets After Flatulating is Not Necessary 35. Techniques of Calling Home 36. Introductory Foreplay: The Drive Home Does Not Count. ***** SEMINARS FOR FEMALES (prepared and presented by males) ****** 1. Are You Ready to Leave?: Definition of the Word YES 2.Appropriate Rhetorical Questions (formerly titled "Honey, Do I Look Fat?") 3. Elementary Map Reading 4. Crying and Law Enforcement 5. Advanced Math Seminar: Programming Your VCR 6. You CAN Go Shopping for Less than 4 Hours 7. Gaining Five Pounds vs. The End of the World: A Study in Contrast 8. The Seven-Outfit Week 9. PMS: It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine (formerly titled "It's Happened Monthly Since Puberty: Deal With It") 10. Driving I: Getting Past Automatic Transmission 11. Driving II: The Meaning of Blinking Red Lights 12. Driving III: Approximating a Constant Speed 13. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving: It's As Simple As Oil and Water 14. The Super Bowl: Not a Game: A Sacrament 15. Telephone Translations (formerly titled "Me Too Equals I Love You") 16. How to Earn Your Own Money 17. Gift-giving Fundamentals (formerly titled "Fabric Bad, Electronics Good") 18. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side 19. Know When to Say When: The Limits of Makeup 20. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry 21. We Forget Birthdays, You Forget Sports Stats: LET'S LET IT DROP 22. MYOB: Proper Response to Other Couple's Public Arguments 23. Yes, You Can Buy Condoms (formerly titled "WE learned to deal with the embarrassment") 24. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels 25. What Goes Around Comes Around: Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy 26. The Penis: His Best Friend Can Be Yours Too 27. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out 28. Commitment Schmittment (formerly titled "Wedlock Schmedlock") 29. To Honor and Obey: Remembering the Small Print Above "I Do" 30. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House 31. Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man?